Jephir Treks America: Bumbling Through Central America

A 6 week adventure in gastronomica, sights, and observation.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Rules of the Road (part dux)

(For those of you unfamiliar with our first installment, swing by Rules of the Road part 1)

Again I write all wacked out due to lack of sleep. 3 hours yesterday due to warm weather, ping pong and excessive amounts of caffeine. Here we go...

9. Know your sources - at least when it comes to food.
Purchase, find, or, as Che' would put it, appropriate as many groceries as possible from farms, farmer's markets and food co-ops.

10. It's called revolving debt for a reason...
Taking our cues from the lack of fiscal responsibility by our current president, we shall not bother ourselves with balancing a budget. Why pay now when there are fewer people to tax in the future? Maybe we'll just try to rehabilitate some oil fields for spare cash - that worked, didn't it?

11. Detours are the destination.
What's luxury without a bit of eye candy? It's important to note that possible points of interest include the Corn Palace (Mitchell, SD), microbreweries, decent coffeeshops and all of Nebraska. (you think I'm kidding, don't you - just wait for the pictures)

12. Keep in mind our time frame so as to avoid breaking rules 2 & 3.
Aaaah, and you're wondering what the hell our timeframe is. Frankly, so are we.

13. Gleefully cross and recross border.
Geese fly south for the winter. Fools make for the north pole. And in between? Flip-floppers like us searching for aforementioned fools (see rule #16).

14. Update weblog at least every 3 days.
For all our adoring fans. In lieu of email. And phone calls. Oooh yeah, I knew I liked this Internet thingy.

15. Spend at least 1 hour/day writing and documenting.
Comes naturally to some people. Others need a bit more prompting. Pairs nicely with rule #14.

16. Spread the word about UnoTraveler.
Hey you! Click on that link! Over there! (other methods of coercion will include magnets, stickers, spray paint, words from our mouths, body paint, and that staple of our current war on terror, duct tape (don't ask).

17. Experience Organic Farming
But what is experience?

18. Investigate metaphysical topics without coming to any kind of solution.
See rule #17. Also, this fella.

19. Abandon any rule which throws off rule #1, especially rule #1.
This rule has been preemptively applied to the following rules:
Rule # 63. Participate in weekly annoy-a-thons, preferably when in the car or over-tired.
Rule # 1,028. Put "flame retardant" to the test.
Rule # 109. Whenever the situation arises, rape the horses and ride off on the women.

Enough silliness. Back to Dr. Seuss tributes.


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